It’s unlike me to propagate life-changing advice. I usually turn up my nose at anyone who does, for come on, everyone has a life that is diametrically different from yours, unique in a manner unknowable by a generic life-coach.
But then, I am not a life-coach. I am only someone who has recently picked up a habit and is all aglow with its miraculous power.
Here it is:
Say no to anything that makes you unhappy. No explanations are necessary.
Sounds lofty? It doesn’t need to be.
Let me give you an example of the day-to-day avenues I’ve been applying it to and the results I am witnessing.
Last week, I refused to attend a get-together of people I barely know. I said no to socialising, exchange of major life events, and eating (I admit letting go of this one was a little tough). Hanging out with people I don’t know closely is draining for me. I have attended my fair share of such events, usually because issuing explanations for non-attendance is also exhausting. Previously, I have assented only to ward off insinuations of being “antisocial” and depressed.
But this time, all I said was: “No.”
I stayed back at home, finished my book, and ate my way through a whole packet of cookies. It was a thoroughly enjoyable afternoon.
Lately, I have also said no to personal questions I didn’t find appropriate to answer, unreasonable “requests” at work, phone notifications that presumptuously sought attention 24/7, and demands for explanations to life decisions that are nobody’s business but mine.
In all this saying no, I have found that the people who really care about me understand my refusal. They don’t need a persuasive cover letter and self-attested documents. As for the others, they don’t give tuppence anyway, not even if the devil were to swallow me whole right now. They are just passing the time of the day with all this explanation-seeking, and why should I indulge them?
So, in essence, I have been saying no more than ever. But I have been saying yes more than ever too: to better mental health, peace, quiet, and the happiness that comes from doing what you TRULY want to do.
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Every Monday, I’ll share my resolution for a happy week ahead, because hey, year-long resolutions are way too steep. Do link to P&P if you too are Happy on Monday! 🙂
Of Paneer, Pulao and Pune 
I love the idea of a Happy Monday post every week 🙂
More power to you Debo for putting to practice something so important. I have been practicing this for a while and I completely agree that the peace it gifts is definitely worth the effort.
It is, isn’t it? Who thought saying no would be so important? 🙂
Hope you are doing well, ME. 🙂
I need to practice this more and last time was so happy curtly telling something that gotta leave him due to work waiting for me. I will do that tomorrow Debo at a conference and only talk to strangers if I feel like, not out of compulsion to network. I really need that. We need to stop getting influenced by the world.
Cheers to your spirit, Vishal! We really do need to stop getting railroaded by the world into doing things that don’t give us happiness.
Haha weekly resolutions, this I can get behind 😝
My solution to people expecting too much was to remove the people from my life, it was surprisingly easy 😳 something is definitely wrong with me, no?
All the best, Cookie – look forward to hearing about your weekly resolutions! 😀
And about your technique of handling “some” people – I think it is brilliant. There is nothing wrong with you; in fact, there is something very positive about taking major steps for self-care. 😀