The New Age Male Chauvinist

Calvin

Before you put me down as another fanatical feminist, I have some concrete reasons to believe male chauvinism isn’t a thing of the past. It’s just that they now come in new packages and try hard to hide among the sheep.

There are men who expect their wives to wait interminably for that one weekend they will spend together. Life, after all, is not rushing by and she MUST understand how every weekend is meant for earning extra money, spending time with friends or worse, inviting them all home. In any case, she has had the entire week to relax when he was busy at work. Even if she has a career, her workplace couldn’t dream of being as tiring as his! These are the men who think nothing of adoring other women (we can tell when it’s “platonic”, please) and filling their home with bottle openers and corkscrews shaped like a woman’s (sexy, of course) torso. Perfect pigs!

Some male chauvinists make a big hoopla ho about knowing their women. They cleverly attribute her moodiness or depression to PMS (this does NOT last all month, by the way!), pregnancy, homesickness for Mom or menopause (right, at 30). It doesn’t seem to help that this moody woman is the one who also works as hard as they do to keep their home together and functional.

The slightly softer male chauvinists occasionally lend a helping hand to their wives. They help do the dishes and slice the vegetables, for instance. But a wife would be foolish to expect her husband to pitch in when any of these parties are home: friends, colleagues, in-laws! Which self respecting male chauvinist, after all, will admit that his wife chivvies him around at home?

Why am I ranting about male chauvinists today? I see them everywhere! Watching television while their tired wife does the utensils, making business plans on their anniversaries, commenting on their wife’s incompetence to their family, expecting their “better” half to magically concoct perfection all the time. And even then, she can never be perfect. After all, she is a woman.

Sigh, sometimes R does seem like a Godsend. 😉

All views are personal. I submit that while male chauvinists are still abundant, there definitely are plenty of men who continue to make the world worth living.

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26 thoughts on “The New Age Male Chauvinist

  1. Finally I came to your blog! 😀
    It is true yaar. Women, whether working or not, are expected to be magicians and perfectionists at everything. But, this attitude is not just the male chauvinist one. The prejudice women have for each other isn’t sparing too..

    • Big welcome to my blog, Varsh! 🙂
      Yep. And that is even more surprising. Almost seems like an act of seeking revenge or trying to get even with someone for no fault of theirs!

  2. Hello Deboshree! Visited your blog via blogadda and I’m surprised to see how the same person who wrote ‘A CELEBRATION LIKE NO OTHER’ has written this.
    First of all, the final lines seem like that ‘Terms and Conditions apply’ sign. Although you are free to express your views like anyone else, you feel calling men pigs is perfectly justified. Imagine a man calling women something like that. I wrote a post on how ‘Feminism is pretty much sexism’ a long time back. Maybe you would check it out
    Here’s the link- http://abandwidthreview.blogspot.in/2015/06/feminism-is-pretty-much-sexism.html

    • Thank you for dropping by Sarthak. I too wish life was always genial enough to allow for celebration but I too have every right to be occasionally ruffled. I would appreciate it if you made the effort to read carefully before commenting. I have made it clear throughout that I am talking about “male chauvinists” and not ALL males. Neither have I said that all men are chauvinistic or pigs – I am not pig headed to make a general statement on men when I can’t claim to know all men in the world! The disclaimer – T&C if you please – is only further testament to this but is clearly wasted. Not surprising when you seem to love negating the presence of male chauvinism simply to prove feminism is misplaced. I am not a supporter of the latter but believe that criticism should be given where it is due.

      • great response. Thanks for your inspiring and positive comments, I haven’t even looked at your whole blog, but I love you already, I was in the Garden cutting veges for dinner, appreciating my “hard work” (aka- relaxing in the garden. ( And going to paid work is “having a break from the family”)) and the idea of a new age male chauvinist came to mind, I googled and found you. Thank you. 🙂

        • Adelle, hey. Thank you for dropping by and you totally made my day. 🙂
          Relaxing in the garden is such a major stress-buster – and I can totally see why some breaks are really essential. 😉

          New age male chauvinists are very much around, aren’t they? Sad, but well, they give us a bone to pick with them!

  3. I hate to admit it but my dad sounds like one of them, no doubt that he will show solidarity and support and cheer for women. But as soon as it is time to invite hordes of guests home and all the home cooked food chores that follow, he conveniently walks out or engages the guests in humour while Ma slogs in the kitchen.
    I have told her repeatedly to not put up with this but all she does is lift her hands up in defeat..

    • Thank you for sharing a slice of your life, S. Seriously, if people work in unison, their work divided, life would be so much easier. Plus, some men don’t ever put in a good word for their wives no matter how hard they work. Sad it is. And if you call these men chauvinistic, they make a ruckus!

      • I know, my dad again, yet again.
        Ma comes from a small village though supremely rich and well educated (she has a B.Ed) she learnt most of what she knows as bengali as her medium. Admitted that she doesn’t have as much life exposure as my dad in dealing with people and communication skills in general, he always makes sure that he let’s her know this.
        And Ma is lost and Pa is short tempered, it is the perfect recipe for disaster..

        • I wonder what to say to this, S. Let’s just say I understand and that Ma is lucky she has a daughter who appreciates all she does. 😉 Not everyone is fortunate enough to be valued for their education or personal values. So many people continue to have other parameters for judgment, even when they are not in their place to judge at all!

    • You know what’s sad Vishal? There are plenty of men who value their woman as an equal. But there are also several who are still chauvinistic. This isn’t something to deny but something to accept and eliminate!

        • Exactly! Many from the young generation claim to be liberated, hang around with girlfriends they don’t want to marry and settle down with the bride whose family gives the most dowry. Spineless? Maybe just chauvinistic. It’s good to hear this from a man who accepts that there are some men who are chauvinistic and doesn’t want to deny it to sound anti feminist.

          • They are spineless yaa. Making no qualm of dating hot chicks and boasting with how many they had a wild scene, smoking and drinking with girls. But, when it comes to get married, they need a ‘domesticated’ girl to serve parents. So typical and hypocrite. And, I hate that! On top of that dowry, such a shame and preventing the girl to be independent, in deference to PILs.

          • Such men are indeed hypocrites. This is not to say women don’t do it; I know plenty who – what’s the word – manipulate guys for things they need done. Time, money, social acceptance. But they have no intention of taking the relationship ahead. It’s not really about gender, it’s about the individual.

            Anyway, it’s high time both men and women realize that the other gender is not inferior/superior and most importantly, should not be all painted with the same brush. Thank you so much for sharing your thoughts on this, Vishal. 🙂

          • So true, agree with you on that part. The individual matters, though I feel men do a huge part in that and sometimes, such behavior are also encouraged by the mother as well, which is so wrong.

  4. well said.. yes as years pass by only the content of the package will differ but the package will exist until this world exists..Let us do our bit and bring up our child with right values..

  5. Very well drafted! Delhi seems to be a hub of chauvinist men and pigs (read, Haryana!). Unfortunately, few will never accept the negative banter they cause to their families and hardly make an effort to praise their better halves for putting up with their cheeky and disgust-filled attitude. Barring a few, I mean 🙂

    • Indeed Yukti. Some men can be so chauvinistic that, like you said, it tries your trust. Barring more than just a few, I am sure, but it is justified to criticise were criticism is due.

  6. Only a fool would believe that male chauvinism is dead! The only difference is that in some cultures, it is more pronounced than in others. Given the deep history of male “supremacy”(?), only a fool would believe that it will be resolved quickly however, changes have been/are being made in many cultures. While there are only a few woman (relative to men) who are in senior professional/political positions, the fact that there are some is an improvement over 100 years ago. However (I love that word), being a male ………. I get really offended when it is assumed that all men are chauvinists. Not only is it rather inaccurate to make such an assumption, but it can reinforce existing antagonism towards women. I have been in a position where I held a door open for a women (basic courtesy …. I do it a lot) and received a tirade of insults generally around making an assumption that she could not open her own door!
    So please, be realistic enough to know that male chauvinism is very much still prevalent ……… but don’t make the assumption that all males are like that. As for perfection in men or women? I will expect perfection from you (and everybody else) as soon as I can set the example ………… the world is safe! 🙂

    • I love “however” too! 😀 It suggests change, improvement, possibilities.
      I agree with you Colin that changes have indeed been made and thankfully, I too am lucky enough to have a lot of sensible, grounded men in my life. It is definitely wrong to assume all men are chauvinists – one of the prime reasons I think feminists have the bad reputation they do. I have seen women abuse men for no reason at all. They are convinced all men are pigs.

      And perfection, well, you nailed that. Expect that only when you can set the example. 🙂

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