Restroom Riddles

Women's Washroom

“I’ll just be back from the restroom,” she announced, proceeded to grab her purse, and walked away from the table. I continued to slurp from my bowl of soup. Her date (and a mutual friend) nodded, focusing on his chopsticks.

Twenty-five minutes went by. She didn’t come back. Was she all right?

We were at a Japanese restaurant renowned for its ramen and miso soup. Both dishes are delicious but light and I have never known them to irritate stomachs before. But how else could I explain her long absence from the table? Her date fidgeted and glanced at the restroom door every so often. I figured I should go and check. What if she had a stomach upset? A sanitary-pad incident? A nervous breakdown?

“I’ll just be back from the restroom,” I announced. It was only later that I realised I had repeated my friend’s statement unedited. Her date looked at me curiously, perhaps assuming it was code for top-secret behaviour.

I pushed open the swanky restroom door with some trepidation. My friend hadn’t been drinking that much; surely, I wouldn’t have to clean puke. Oh God, what if I walked in on a full-blown scene, the cleaners screaming at my friend, other patrons eyeing her with disdain?

Something clicked loudly as soon as I entered. A blinding flash struck me in the eye. There, in front of the mirror, stood my friend, her make-up newly done, not a hair out of place, smiling with mathematical precision.

She was clicking pictures. Selfies from every angle. Photographs with restroom stalls in the background that she’d spend long minutes cropping out. All this while we waited for her outside and her date feared she had staged a silent exit.

“Hey, let’s click a picture together!” she grinned at me. “But first you should do your hair.”

I muttered something and escaped into one of the stalls. The sounds from her camera followed me inside.

What is it about clicking selfies in the restroom? I find so many people doing it that I am worried it’s a riddle I can’t solve. How is a restroom, with its designated areas for people to do their ablutions, alluring enough to be captured on print? I see many restroom selfies on my Facebook feed; some of them even have hashtags like #NaturalBeauty and #RawSelf. Does this have something to do with the realisation that needing to use the restroom is a natural, raw human need? Some of the pictures I see have poor lighting too—no, none of the green-room elegance or vanity van charm. Is there something about a mirror that gets people clicking?

When I exited the stall, my friend had finally left. I eventually saw her back at the table, staring at her phone screen, possibly busy choosing the best restroom selfie to post on social media. It was a far more interesting pursuit than allaying the nerves of her date, even as the man grew increasingly convinced that she was utterly bored with him.

I got back to my simple-minded ramen. It posed no riddles.


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19 thoughts on “Restroom Riddles

  1. Thank you! I am so glad you touched upon this topic. Selfie addiction is really annoying. While it is ok to take one or two selfies during an occasion, taking nonstop selfies from all sorts of angles (especially restrooms where one is supposed to attend to nature’s call, wash up and at the most freshen up) takes it to new levels of ridiculousness.
    As you can see I don’t have the patient for either that or people who indulge in it.
    I think we are old school in this thought.

    • Old school indeed! That is a term people increasingly use to describe anyone who doesn’t latch on to trends, disagrees with what’s in vogue, or is basically boring 😛 Sigh!

  2. And its a sacred place for women men dont have entry to …And this selfie mania is posting pics all over the globe …

  3. 😂😂 this is hilarious! How could she click selfies when someone was waiting for her outside! Say, it’s cool keeping in mind the selfie-maniac people around.

  4. Hahahah I really don’t know about these selfies and restroom connection. I am pretty sure I have done this too, at some point or other. And I don’t think I have a problem with this. However, I hate, and I repeat HATE it when I am with someone, and the person choses to constantly go over their phone, every trivial second, for every trivial detail. I mean I’d rather be alone than with someone like them. And as for pictures, I’d be happy with a few clicks, (I mean I need a few at least to remember something special) but then a couple of pictures and I am done, whether I look good or not. I don’t see the point in clicking 100 different pictures, I am not going to look like Deepika Padukone on the 99th if I look like a with in the 1st pic. Anyway even if the person wants to click 100 pictures, who am I to judge, unless he/she is being rude to me.

    • Totally in agreement! It irks me no end when the person I am with is glued to his/her phone all the time. It is not only irritating but also insulting.

      Haha also agree about the pictures. I like clicking a few too; nothing like photographs to relive happy moments. But clicking a gazillion from different angles and forgetting to soak in the real world you are in feels like an utter waste of time. To each his own, of course. Like I said, human behaviour is so often a riddle! 😛

      Thank you for sharing your thoughts, Moushmi ❤

  5. Goodness me. I honestly thought that something hadn’t been going right in the date. Never in my wildest imagination did I realize that she might have been clicking selfies in the restroom

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