“How come your eyes are so small? You can hardly see them behind your glasses. Don’t Bengali girls have big, beautiful eyes?”
Well, I must be a fake Bengali. I have small eyes; my hair is cut in a long bob; and I don’t eat much fish (tsk, tsk).
Since school, I have been inundated with stereotypes about Bengali girls. They are supposed to be excellent at music and dance, elegantly moving to tune and making the birds hush in revered silence when they open their mouths. My music teacher in school thought I had a pleasant singing voice and she endeavoured to get me to take music seriously. I did; I still enjoy singing in the shower. Once, during auditions for an annual school function back in Grade 3, the dance teacher pointedly asked me to “try out for the march-past rehearsals instead”. I cried for a whole hour.
When I started working, the primary conversation starter I received was: “So, where in Kolkata do you live? Do you get good fish in your locality?” Never mind how I had repeated until my voice had gone hoarse that I was born and brought up in Delhi. Bengalis lived in Kolkata; everyone knew that, duh.
I am a Bong girl. Supposedly, I cook everything in mustard oil, wear a saree like a pro, and converse in an animated language punctuated liberally with “eeessh” (also, “maa go” and half a dozen extra, random “Os”). I am gifted at poetry, music and dance and spend all my weekends reading in a corner. Oh, or singing Rabindra Sangeet and playing the harmonium. Ask me any day, and I would prefer to eat fish, roshogullas, and rice, even if it was the holy season of Navratri (“how unsuitable!”). My political alignment: communist, of course. My favourite shower song: Aami je tomar.
“Your Hindi doesn’t sound like Bengali at all,” a colleague once chided me. “Neither does your English.”
I was confused. “Was it supposed to?”
“Haha!” laughed the colleague. “Rosogulla khaabo? Maach khaabo?”
“Aami tomake bhaalo baashi!” pitched in another, with what he assumed was terrific wit.
It was heartening, really, to see the confidence these people possessed. I mean, they had just recited all the Bong phrases they knew in one go, never mind how incorrect, inappropriate, or plainly unnecessary. Here were people avowing love to me and offering me sweets and fish. I couldn’t really complain, could I?
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I am taking up the April #AtoZChallenge 2019 and will post every day of the month, except Sundays. I look forward to your company!
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Of Paneer, Pulao and Pune 
Generalisations! Sigh.
Hey! We have something common: singing in the shower 😉
High-five! Singing in the shower is just the best 😀
Haha! Having listened to people talk of ‘Idli-Sambar’ ALL DAY long to me, and ask why my sister was so fair (not me, thankfully) being a ‘madrasi’ – I can totally relate! 😀 Oh yes, Aiyyo was another smart comment! So much, that I pepper my chaste UP hindi with that all the time, just for the reactions. And once I started eating non vegetarian food, it was close to blasphemous for all around – Oh My God! An Iyer! Relishing pork! :o! To a large extent, it is almost fun now 😀
Hahaha your comment made me laugh out loud! I am still chuckling 😀 It is actually a good idea to see these things in a humorous light – so much generalisation in the world that it actually is hilarious. 😀
This was such a good read. I thoroughly enjoyed it. As a half Bong I have to prove my Bongness – you look Kashmiri, are you sure? can you speak Bengali ? And so on and so forth. Stereotypes abound.
Hello, half-Bong. Maach khaabo? 😛
Stereotypes abound for sure. Mostly, I laugh and move along, but sometimes they get under your skin.
So happy you enjoyed the post 🙂
Hahaa Deboshree! This is so relatable for us ‘probashi bangalis’ 😀
Hey Shrila, good to hear from you! 😀
Yes, we “probashi bangalis” have to put up with quite a lot. 😀
😂 Interesting read! How people stereotype everyone and everything pinches sometimes:)
You bet it does! 😛
Thank you for dropping by, Aditi. Will hope to see you around.
This brought back so many memories. People have such stereotyped version of others that sometimes you really wish you could shake them up and ask if they really thought that all we did was ish, ami tomake bhalobasi and mach khabo. Loved this post
Haha seriously, I can think of so many people I would love to shake up right now 😄 Glad you enjoyed the post, Sonia – thanks a ton!
I hear you.. I feel you… Though I love fish and use mago almost after every sentence.. Yet these stereotyoes can be quite irritating
They can be, no? I mean, we might do certain things but pray, why must you throw them in our face? 😛
Warm welcome here.
I sympathize with you wholeheartedly.
Thank you so much! 😀
Hahaha…aren’t we all stereotyped?
Sadly so! Why can’t the world be more accepting of diversity? 🙄
How true. We have our notions of how people from a certain place are supposed to be and we just take it so much for granted.
Exactly, Sonia! We project stereotypes without a thought. It is really vexing.
Hahaha, I am sorry for laughing. But I get what you are trying to say. I guess thesis not just related with Bengali girls, the stereotypes goes with every caste, you are Bengali you must like fish, you are Gujarati, you must know dandiya, you are punjabi, you must eat lavishly. and so on.
Good luck with the challenge but the way. I am participating in the NaPoWriMo challenge and would love to see you over at my blog.
Hello Moushmi, warm welcome here 🙂 Indeed, stereotypes plague us all. Maybe it’s the social brain’s way of making things easier to categorise.
Definitely hopping over to catch up on your posts! Hope to see you around too.
Yes, I would love to see more of you 😉
Haha! The joys of the virtual world 😄
Agreed 😀