*If I have accidentally quoted you, send me a card.
Auto Wallah to an office-goer: You will need to pay me 80 bucks extra as I don’t personally like that area. (Girl starts to walk away frowning) Okay Madam, sit. It was worth a try!
Middle-aged woman to a shopkeeper: Bhaiya, you really need to give a chocolate free now that I have bought so much from you. My old nerves need a sugar rush. (She had bought a packet of Britannia biscuits)
Drunk fellow to an old man in a public transport bus: I like the way the wind carries my spit from this window. Why don’t you sit elsewhere if you mind? (Yes, he really was this polite!)
Fish monger to a couple: I get only the freshest pomphret fish. You can still feel their ocean returned skin.
Supermarket sales assistant to shopper: I am sure it (product) will be there on the shelf somewhere. Why don’t you check? If you can’t, assume we don’t sell it.
Colleague to a colleague of another state: How can it (a vegetable) possibly be called something else where you come from? I have always called it by this name!
Girlfriend to boyfriend in movie theatre: Let’s watch Dil Dhadakne Do again, please? It’s so high-society that even my friends who secretly hated it love it.
One fashionable woman to another near a Godrej Nature’s Basket billboard: That’s where I do all our grocery shopping from! They have the best. (Trying to push rusk biscuits and paau deeper inside her oversized bag)
Sheesh. And the only random thing I have said since morning pertained to how I need a new wardrobe and a plate of panipuri to go with it when we are planning a premium vacation that costs very less.