*Disclaimer: The post is based on my definition of “mad”. That does not implicate/exonerate either of us of the ever dynamic madness of being.
Eat melons all day
The variety of diets doing the rounds exceeds the variety of insects in the world, by a few thousand. GM, Detox, Vegan, Puritanic, Liquid, and Omnivorous. (That last one is mine.) Some people attain nirvana by consuming melons all day, whenever they feel hungry. And you thought Candy Crush was getting passé.
Wear clothes torn at random places
Shush, jeans torn at the legs is old news. The new wardrobes have clothes with slits/holes/large tears around the chest, the belly button, the upper back – errmm, this is getting a bit anatomical. But as long as people feel smart and chic, the retailers are smiling to the bank.
Carry five phones, two tablets and a laptop
There are separate phones for work, home, parents, boyfriend, best friend, boyfriend, pet. How some people must be wishing they had hands as large and skilled at gripping as their primate ancestors!
Get into part-time and transit-camp relationships
No time is worth wasting away in sorrow, longing and how-I-wish-you-were-here laments. While still young and capable, some people make the most of the places they live in. Makes it easier to remember places by. That is the city I had the three-month-affair with the tall guy! There is the shack we had a one-night-stand in. Smooth.
Think being deaf equals being important
You will find these people at your workplace. You may call, wave, shout at them – and it’s evident they have heard you – but you will be ignored. They will be too tied up with an e-mail (read: Solitaire), their phone (read: WhatsApp) or their desk (read: snacking). The power of being deaf makes them feel well, powerful.
Believe honking will mysteriously clear up the road
When lane shifting, name calling, window rolling and unrolling fail to clear up a traffic jam, some think honking will do the trick. They never learn from past experience, they never do.
Give up on life because society says so
Society is this indomitable creature, ever inventing new criticism for everything you do. Though Society of this kind hardly ever lands up to help you in sorrow, some people believe giving in to its unreasonable demands will quieten its barking. They pick a job they hate, break up with the one they love, settle in a city they detest, wear clothes that bite, and are reborn grumpy about missing the time of death that society had set out. Not exactly modern, I daresay.