When it leaks, it pours…

Potted Plant

If you live opposite a wall, things can be very tiresome indeed. Ah no, there are no intended metaphorical meanings – I should know, given our house is on a busy road which you can cross to come face to face with a sweeping college wall. As we stand in the balcony on a summer evening, what strikes the eye is not the brooding football-goal in the college playground, but several souls busy with their business outside. Lining the wall throughout its length are people who either have bladders filled to the brim or are fetishists when it comes to taking a leak. The wall must be much-sought-after…people even come along visiting in their cars and disembark to find for themselves if the exciting tales of urinating-on-the-college-wall-pleasure bear any truth.

It was a few months ago that some residents of our colony got along to put their foot down on this business.

“We will engage in horticulture. The place will be decorated with potted plants and fountains and flowers…” began one, enthusiastically waving his hands about. He had visited the Mughal Gardens last weekend. “We will even tile the wall with some images of our respected Gods. Lord Krishna, Shiva, Durga…” said another. He had recently been to the Isckon Temple. In a matter of a week, the wall opposite our house painted a different picture. There were tiles all over the section and Hindu Gods and Goddesses oversaw the fleeting Delhi traffic. Potted plants nodded in the breeze, dahlias and chrysanthemums showed off their sparkling clothes. Tins of white paint were emptied and then swept away. Delighted with the transformation, we went to peaceful beds and dreamt of kids picnicking opposite the wall, the ground covered with mattresses and baskets.

The next evening dawned bright and beautiful. The sky was spattered with pluvial clouds, the trees dancing in the whispering wind. We stood in the balcony, beaming with pride. “There’s nothing collective effort cannot achieve.” We nodded intelligently, even philosophically. Motorbikes raced by, bicycles were pedalled along. A few curious walkers looked around as they walked by, pleased with the sudden green fingers prodding them in the grimy Delhi road.

“Look at that guy for instance.” we said, watching a middle-aged man approaching a potted dahlia plant. “I am sure he wants to click pictures of our new garden.”

“Seems to me,” piped in a neighbour (from across the fence our houses have in common), “the crowd we are getting across the street has also got nobler.”

We smiled and exchanged pleasantries about our naturo-religious cure to the leaking bladder problem. As we waited for the man to produce his camera, he nonchalantly walked closer to the theistical wall. Before we could run to the rescue, the nubile, newly painted white received its first shower of piddle.

* image from blogginghouseplants.blogspot.com

34 thoughts on “When it leaks, it pours…

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  5. What the heck?
    I thought that man really admiring the beauty on the new surrounding. You should at least shout at him to put him into shame.

    This PDP can also be seen in my country šŸ˜¦ I hate seeing itleast shout at him to put him into shame.

    This PDP can also be seen in my country šŸ˜¦ I hate seeing it

    • I wonder if such things as beauty reach out to people like that. Oh he was the target of a lot of shouting but he receded only after completing his business. Shameless I tell you.

      PDP it seems hasn’t spared any land. šŸ˜¦

  6. thats really gross, I despise these pp, may be more public urinals will solve these, not sure, some people will never learn, keep an angry barking dog, it will shoo away these filthy creatures hopefully

    very well written btw

    • I wonder if public urinals will do much… like you said, some people will find a workaround and go wet a wall all the same. The dog is a good idea. šŸ˜€

      Thanks a lot! šŸ˜€

  7. First thing. You write so well! Teach us a thing or two about how to write like the way you do. šŸ˜€

    About PDP, it’s gross. Some men are plain shameless! Did you guys put some shame into him?

    • Ajay, thanks a lot. I am so glad you enjoy reading what I churn out. šŸ˜€
      Sadly, no.You can’t call allusions and stern stares punishment for someone so thick skinned. I am sure the admonishments toppled off his being.

  8. This reminds me of that book, I think by Rohinton Mistry. Forgot the name! At least there, the Gods and Goddesses got their due respect and the wall was saved. I guess you guys are not so lucky! šŸ˜¦

    • Which book Agnija? I seem to have heard of it too but I have never read Mistry.
      Oh yes, we are far from lucky when it comes to clean and err, dry walls. No Gods and Goddesses seem to have a cure either.

  9. I thought the wall was adorned with Gods and Goddesses. Surely he had the sense not to pee on that wall. Some people just can’t be sensible I guess. I agree with Bikram. A good butt kicking should serve him right!

    • Yes Vinay. It seems Gods and Goddesses couldn’t turn off his fetish. He sure must have been desperate… and a non believer in karma. šŸ˜›
      How I wish that kicking treatment is meted out soon!

  10. God. thats atrocious.. One shud have gone and Kicked his butt while he was going about his business.. that would served him right.

    you shud have taken a pic of the person and put it or send it to me to put on my blog and make him shamed ..

    • I wish someone had done that Bikram… as it turned out, he got several stern stares and several loud ‘indirect’ admonishments. But then there is that old saying about a dog’s tail…

      The next time I encounter something similar – do I not sound hopeful? – I will do just that. Its high time such people are shamed.

  11. Goodness gracious me!!!!! I hate PDP (Public Display of Peeing ) and the horrible smell of ammonia that emanates afterwards. šŸ˜¦ šŸ˜¦ Its shameful.
    Try hiring a well built goon. It seems our Gods and Goddesses are too stunned by man’s indecency to take remedial actions. šŸ˜¦

    • I love the acronym Chhavi. I will remember it given how frequently it can be used. šŸ˜¦
      Seriously, the goon is an idea. I am fed up of PDP and rather shocked at the indifference people have developed.

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