Biting my Head Off


“Couldn’t you have the sense to bring your spectacles the first time around?” the courier wala shouted at Grandpa, when the poor man requested permission to fetch his glasses for the signature. “As is, I don’t get paid to wait for hours at end at every house!” It had been, I should clarify, about two minutes since he had rapped his knuckles loudly on the door. A hot summer morning, a squabble with the spouse, being passed over for a pay rise… the reasons for his endearing temper could be several. But even on a general note, I have arrived at a rather disconcerting conclusion.

You can never tell about people these days. Especially when they originate from the cauldron of the Indian capital, they more likely than not have little streams called “Rage” and “Fury” playing around in their bloodstreams. The innocent looking man suddenly produces a pistol from the inner pocket of his jacket. The silver bracelet-ed hulk leaves no opportunity unattended to unleash his stock of punches and blames it all on your leery look at his bimbette. Drat it, even theΒ  non-human inhabitants of the city are irritable and easily ruffled. My new-found insight is courtesy a rather err, biting episode this Sunday.

I had gone to Crossword, anticipating some quiet time in the bookstore Pune had introduced me to. So much for my anticipation, the mall that housed the store was overflowing with people out on their Sunday shopping extravaganza. There were heated arguments at the car park as people got enraged over the “Parking Full” board. How dare you suggest I keep my limousine away? Do you not know I use it even to make living room to bedroom trips? There were legions of wanderers on the escalators and a few shopaholics decided to plunder the shelves around my no-longer-peaceful corner in Crossword. Blaring music played to give you some reading company and little kids jumped around the place, knocking some hardcovers off the desks. Their Moms and Dads shouted at them and then shouted at each other. I knew the kid would take after you, you undisciplined mutt. If it hadn’t been for your shopping obsessed genes, the girl would have turned out saner.

Rather perturbed by the squeals and shrieks, I was relieved when I got back home. The familiar brown door came into sight as I walked up the staircase, the curtains flowing in the evening breeze. As I unbolted the door, my arm brushed the curtains for the most minuscule portion of a second you can imagine. And there! A horrible tingling sensation speed-ed up my arm, watering my eyes. I couldn’t make head or tail of the scene for a while, incapacitated by the throbbing arm. It dawned on me then – the agent of the tingle – when an evil-looking black bee scowled at me from a corner of the floor. It seemed my venturing arm had disturbed the privacy of the bee’s curtain-abode and intolerant of my interference, she found biting the best form of revenge.

I am still nursing the spot: it is a swollen-red and tingles like a million red chillies blended into one. To be fair, Dilliwalo ka gussa is nobody’s fault. The good God gave away patience and tolerance on a foggy December morning. Everyone in the city was at the time fast asleep under quilts of a deep, deep blue.


28 thoughts on “Biting my Head Off

  1. hmmm… Thinking about rage brings to my mind an incident I was winess to in a posh South Bombay bookshop, where a page 3 type mom allowed her son to tear up her books in the shop. She admonished the sales staff who attempted to stop this by sayin thatshe would pay for the damages. The 5 year old child screamed and tore up many books before stopping with a “Mamma, I am not angry any more.” I think this has to be the scariest thing I ever saw in my life.

    • Oh my gosh Sudha, is this for real? I am shocked; I haven’t witnessed this kind of a public display yet and I hope I never do. What was the ‘Mom’ thinking? Is this her idea of a libertine upbringing of her child? If this is the kind of pep talk kids get then we can’t really blame what they turn up into at a later stage.

  2. ouch…

    i can understand the gussa but we let them, no one has the right to talk to anone like that , we ignoring is worst, if the courier wala got a SLAP he wud not do to anyone else

    how is the BEE πŸ™‚

    • I have to agree Bikram. Letting this go on is no solution. But then a panacea is hard to find; so deeply has the rage become entrenched in people. 😦

      The bee is no more. I am accepting bouquets/brickbats. πŸ˜€

  3. Oh hope u r better already!

    I am so waiting for that quiet time at Crosswords and a chance to spend the GVs I have! Just nt happening 😦

    • Oh I am fine now… there’s not much the vengeful bee could do after all. Touche. πŸ˜€

      I hope you get to spend that time soon… there’s nothing like Crossword gift vouchers after all. πŸ˜€

  4. I have been meaning to read your blog, ever since I glanced over it a few weeks back. So, not just people, a bee from Dilli also has lot of gussa I gather :-).

    Lovely to read. Hope the red chilly sting is getting better.

    • I am glad you finally gave Saddi Delhi some time. πŸ˜‰
      Oh yes, even the bees and the birds here are angry with all the infamous publicity they get. Oh well, I have warned you. πŸ˜€
      The sting is better now. Thank you! πŸ˜€

  5. Nicely written in your typical witty style. πŸ™‚ I hope you don’t catch the infectious anger. Hope you are better. Forgive that poor bee. πŸ˜€

    • Glad you enjoyed the read Ajay! I hope so too – I will try my best to stay away from possible sources of infection.
      I am better now; the bee won’t be too happy. πŸ˜€

  6. Rage is a gene culminating in every DNA these it due to the never ending line of expectations and failures or is it because desires become dreams left loose and you still stand at the end of the queue…? Whatever be the reason, furore is no longer a hidden trait..people tend to show now and then possible, exhibiting their domineering attitudes..what I did like about your post is the touch of wit and reality on the same the language too:) Gr8 one!

    • Hello Fiducia πŸ™‚
      I couldn’t agree more – Rage is much too common these days, much more common than is passable. Yes, failures and setbacks certainly have a role to play. People tend to vent out their frustrations on any random person they see as a dump.
      I am glad you enjoyed reading the piece… thanks a lot! Hope to see you around. πŸ˜€

  7. He he he….. A light and pleasant read…….
    A word of caution, Deboshree….Dilli waalon ka gussa is infectious too……. I hope you don’t catch it πŸ˜‰ πŸ˜‰ πŸ˜‰

  8. Hehehee πŸ˜€ You end it just like u always do.. in that nice humorous Deboshree fashion πŸ˜‰ nice.. rage is quite common here too πŸ˜› too bad about it as well. calmness is so much more better.. πŸ™‚

    Hope ur bee bite be better soon πŸ™‚

    • Vinay, delighted you liked the ending. But I tell you, there is nothing in the least funny about my ugly red bee-bite. I couldn’t agree more with you about the merits of calmness. How I wish more people would be as enlightened as we are. πŸ˜› πŸ˜€
      Thanks a lot!

What do you think?

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s