Phone(y) Troubles

There is a debutant in my world of vexations. In a list that formerly read – 1) Waterless Tanks of the Delhi Summer variety and 2) The Car Parking Problem when there’s a clinic next door – I now have an interesting new monster to tackle: “The Phoney Phone”.

In case you are the geek who cannot stand a passing comment on his/her precious gadget, please do read on:

One. My handset is but three years old and though I am not the best bet when you’re talking err, prevention from falling, I have taken reasonably good care of the thing. But now the attention-seeking creature doesn’t even do a double take when its battery bars vamoose into thin air all in a day’s work. I don’t use my phone as my three-in-one i-Pod, Camera and e-Mail agent. I only talk. And yet the thing, the one I have tended to and carried about lovingly in my hands for so many years, acts up on me. Tragic.

Two. I cannot seem to stop these irritating text messages that block my inbox day in and day out. No, I do not want a flat. Not even if it requires no down payment and is located a kilometre from the airport. Neither do I want to attend a chocolate-making workshop. Most importantly, in no way am I the right person for ambiguous notifications such as:

“Required bold, beautiful and broad-minded secretary for education consultant.
Salary 1 lakh per month with perks.

I promise not to bug Mr. Education Consultant for clarifications on exactly why he needs a ‘broad-minded’ secretary and though the money seems to be rather magnanimous, I beg to be excused.

Three. In what is the biggest menace of the lot, I am a sad victim of tangled wires. The troupe of Cross Connection and Wrong Number movies that have come out over the years may be enjoyable on the screen, but I don’t appreciate a illustration of the  phenomena in my life.

It’s been a while since The Phoney Phone has been up to tricks. He thinks it’s immense fun discreetly connecting me to random conversations across the nation. On my part, I not only find the joke in bad taste but also think it’s extremely insensitive on the part of any Phoney Phone to play truant when a beloved calls up. Doesn’t an enormous mobile tower have a teeny-weeny space reserved for a personal heart? The inanities of my phone seem to increase at an exponential rate as nightfall approaches. In perfect intersection with peak calling hours. The inanities are at an all-time high late into the night.

In this series of poor jokes, when a water-vendor was done with his introduction and a random stranger enquired about his dinner, I decided I had had enough. The happy-to-help customer care had ingenious cures for my ailments:

◊ Call 1: Deactivate call diverting ma’am.
◊ Call 2: Please remove your SIM ma’am.
◊ Call 3: Please clean your SIM ma’am.
◊ Call 4: I have no idea. Maybe there’s congestion ma’am?

Yeah right. It’s me who is supposed to have the idea. Leaving switching and signal and frequency related technicalities aside, I only know that it feels downright eerie to suddenly hear a foreign voice while on a call. I detest that kind of disturbance spoiling the little time we get to talk.


Sigh. It seems to me these phones are such a muddle. You need to charge them, you need to pay for talking, you need to be prepared for a sneaking invasion to your privacy if your call decides to cross connect. I sincerely miss the rambling walks of Pune and the ample scope the dear city provided for conversations as long as you please.

I am beginning to realize. Getting married, at the end of the day, is a wonderful idea. 😀


24 thoughts on “Phone(y) Troubles

  1. Pingback: Top 3 Tips to Survive an Awkward Phone Conversation | Of Paneer, Pulao and Pune

  2. Pingback: Ten things that 2011 taught me… « Saddi Delhi

  3. LOL !!! Now plz dont get mad…its seriously funny. 🙂

    I hate these promo msgs that keep coming in my mobile too….even I have written to my service provider so many times…doesnt work at all.

    Oh dear…thats just too many problems with one communication device….hope all of them get sorted out soon.

    • I couldn’t get madder than the phone has already made me Uma. 😦 😀

      Oh the service providers seem to be there just for providing ‘service’ and not making sure what they have provided works or does not. Thanks a lot for the wishes… I hope the phone either has a quick recovery or a final drop to the grave.

  4. you know, you can always throw it and buy a new one 😉
    I have just bought a new one 2months ago because the previous one has black screen.

    hahahaha we have the same thought, tho I am over 30…marriage still look like a troublesome matter, but lately I have been thinking…maybe it isn’t that troublesome, maybe it’s a good thing (as long as he accepts my babypets)

    • Yep Novroz. The throwing away idea is good. I don’t want to hand over my little packet of menace to anyone else.

      Ha ha… I am sure your little darlings will be welcomed anywhere. 😀 They are so very cute. All the best for nuptial bliss. 😀

  5. It seems am visiting your blog after ages, 🙂 lots of new and good stuffs to read,
    time to go for a new mobile 🙂
    still fighting with a new compu virus and poor internet connctn, so not able to do ny blog hopping 😦

    getting married ??? wonderful idea…go for it, half of the life’s burden will b shared nd offcourse u can always bargain for his better handset:)


    • Exactly Sukanya, I missed having you around. 😀

      Oops. Internet problems are nearly as frustrating as mobile ones. Wish you luck there.
      Ha ha… the bargaining sounds interesting. I am glad to see the plusses’ list growing. Mom for one will be pleased when she knows I am considering the thought. 🙂

  6. It’s funny how you never spot a mistake in your writing, till after you have lost the chance of editing it 😀

    Please, read the fifth sentence as ‘that FACT troubled my sisters.’

  7. ah, there’s nothing so frustrating than the phone or the internet misbehaving!
    Till three months back, I had a perfectly well-behaved and much loved phone. It had all the features I could wish for. But it was five years old. And that face troubled my sisters and cousins somehow. It was branded as ‘pushtaini,’ ‘pichhle zamaane ka phone’ etc. So I got myself a naye zamaane ka android phone. Oh, yeah, it is brimful of features. But I’m scared of using it, as if i go too fast, it just revolts and hangs up, or the sound goes missing, or the screen goes blank or some other bug rises up to bite me.
    But still, I don’t complain. I love gadgets. And an android is a very delightful toy 🙂

    • LOL @ ‘pushtaini’ phone Jyoti! 😀 Mom had a similar adjective for Dad’s last phone. It forced him to switch to a more contemporary set, what with Dad being a spartan where phones are concerned. An android sounds interesting. But am I scared of opting for anything that’s brimful of features! I will make do with a more basic android perhaps. 😀

  8. The rare random messages that land on my phone have such tempting offers (you’ve won 45000 pounds call now) that they don’t really feel like a pain but are definitely frustrating 😉
    My phone has been with me since 2007 and till date no issues with it’s battery (maybe cause I don’t use it for anything except calls and rare text messages.)

    😆 @ the broad minded secretary 😉

    Getting married is always a great idea…so go for it 😉 😉

    Good luck with your phone 😀

    • Oh yes, the lottery-kind of messages are not too bad. But I hate that clogging feeling they lend to the phone. *rolls eyes*
      Lucky you CB. Your phone could teach mine some behaviour lessons!

      Ha ha… thanks a lot for the best wishes! 😀 😀

  9. ROFL.

    LOL@ broad-minded secretary!!! 😀

    Yea, I do get a load of stupid messages too, and when i ask the service provider what i can do to avoid them, they say “Ummm…please stay on the call madam…” and they eventually hang up while i’m still “staying on the call”! 🙄

    • Seriously S, these CC people can be frustrating. I hate the artifice involved in their formal lines and it’s still bearable when they at least get the problem solved.

  10. He he he.. Your phone seems to be giving you a hard time… Well, my baby has been with me since 2006 and luckily it has always behaved itself. It does go berserk one in a while but that’s ok. 😉 🙂 Best of luck with your phone. 🙂 And yes… nothing better than the thought of getting married 🙂

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