Hey Darling!

Devil horns

… public me sansani ek baar karne do*. (allow me a public sensation this once) *Mad Post Alert*

With all honesty and truthfulness, Yours Truly – dear readers – doesn’t feature in the matter today. I am talking of interesting women you see, but I am not a part of the list. (I will cover me some other time – ‘Modern Day Angels’ or something the piece will be called)

So anyway, if you thought Pune is no Delhi – don’t tell me you haven’t heard that silly bit about Delhi’s three whimsical beings: the winter, the electricity (or the lack of it) and the women – you might just be mistaken.

It so happens in Pune…

On a casual stroll out, for example, you might come across the ‘we are agnostic’ ladies who go about giving opinions on all and sundry. Sample some:

“That place is so drab. ” (what is it called again?)

“The dress pisses me off.(I needed to use that phrase you see)
“Oh did you catch – *insert never heard of movie here*?” (How could you ever tell I dozed off watching Sex and the City last night?)

Then there’s the more lethal variety, a conversation with whom can be a serious morale shock if you aren’t careful.

You talk of a popular sitcom. Tick Mark
You talk of something you cooked. Tick Mark
You talk of the Indus Valley Civilization. Tick Mark
You talk of the essence of Shakespeare’s 18th sonnet. Tick Mark

Point being, there isn’t one subject you can find which they’ll not laugh or comment about. And all with a patronizing air that has you panting for room.

[ “Darling, chhodo zara, sharmane ka, yeh qaayda…” (Have you ever seen me shy away from a subject darling?) ]

There’s a vast wardrobe showcase on display too, in case you were wondering. On an ideal day, you’ll find tank tops and frills, ethnic wear and a sporty tee – in diverse colours and forms. You can even catch the occasional whimper from  Miss Little Pink Shorts.

“It’s cold today.”

Let me tell you about The Seducers. They come in all shapes and sizes and are after anything starting with your wallet to your job to, if you’re more durable, your surname. And if you happen to be female, they might be after your better half.

“What’s the fun in a single boyfriend? You need at least a handful.”

Fooling men, they say, is elementary and once the diamonds and silks run out, there’s always a fresh piece to unpack.

So many darlings women, such little time – my guy friends crib.  The Darlings may just get the following answer:

“Darling, sorry tujhe, Sunday ke din, zehmat hui…” (I apologize for the troubles you had to partake in this Sunday)

… mujhko bhi Wednesday ko bakwaas karne do. Darling!
(Lend me my permit for nonsense this Wednesday) 😀

*Darling: A song from Vishal Bhardwaj’s “7 Khoon Maaf”

61 thoughts on “Hey Darling!

  1. Pingback: Ferreting out fossils for the 7×7 Award « Saddi Delhi

  2. that was a fun read and truthful as well. Bitching, lets get a little more clear here, is in a woman’s blood, I guess. N hey u’ll find them all over the place, have u ever heard Mumbai girls talking ????

        • Just read it. Very insightful I must say. The femme fatale can sure be excused for the murders given the sorts of people you write of. Too bad all the world’s worst men had to land up in her kitty. 😛

          • She actually says something like that at one point of time in the movie, you know? That all the wrong kind of men end up in her life.

          • Not ALL of them. But definitely some. The post will make much more sense to you once you watch the movie. Btw i just reread it, and god my spelling and grammar is all over the place. That’s what happens when i write while high 😦
            oh, oh, and hidden inside my fb notes is a small write up comparing the 7 of us to the 7 of them. Couldn’t consign it to my blog so did (hid) it there 😉

          • Really? I didn’t notice it much either – maybe I was too into creating visuals from the piece you wrote. Happens all the time. 🙂

            Really? (that’s a second) Wow, that I must check out. You guys better beware in case some Susanna lurks in your friend list. 😛

          • Hee hee. I’ll cut-hack-chop it once i have comp access 😀
            hee hee (that’s a second). Look me up on fb *wink* and maybe you’ll find out the tallying. None of the other guys have noticed yet, thank god. All hell might break loose when they do.

          • Ummm. No. I’ll be the only one getting killed then. And since the ISI (where they stay in the hostel and where i go once a week) has a huge campus, they can stow away my body anywhere and nobody will find out. Heh.

          • In simplicity lies perfection. Other than that, i have no clue what you’re talking about. Anyway, i’m getting worn out typing in comments on your resource heavy blog from my cell. Is that the best mode of communication two tech savvy people can come up with? 😐

          • What browser does your cell have? WordPress blogs have a lightweight mobile theme that shows up on most phones: shouldn’t be trouble that one.

  3. I’m a kolkatan, another city which is worlds apart from pune. I still keep coming back there whenever i can 🙂
    well, the reaction to the movie might just be related to the gender of the watcher. Might just, but i’m not sure. The story isn’t anything mindblowing. No brilliant plot, very little naach gaana and not even much suspense. Plus the plot has numerous loopholes. But the cinematography is stunning, the storytelling and narration is slick, and the acting, oh the acting….
    All my ideas are strictly literary, if i might term them so. They should end up on my blog pretty soon. 🙂

    • Wow, its been two years since I went to Kolkata last. Some say I don’t even look like a Bengali while others vehemently say I do. But I digress.

      You know what – your thoughts on the movie are much similar to mine. The un-watched similar I mean. I tell people – yes, the story isn’t much. The plot has deficiencies. You know who kills whom. But there’s a poetic appeal, an aesthetic orchestration to the murders don’t you see? And they stare point blank.

      I am looking forward to that blog post then. 😀

    • LOL @ Ramayana on girls.
      I am sad enough with mosquitoes as is – they mushroom every time it rains – no more bugs are needed. 😀
      But seriously, vagaries and girls go hand on hand it seems.

  4. We realised the quirkiness of the situation only after finishing the movie. And the movie has enough wtf moments.
    I intend to screen partners in future based on this.
    And i’m trying to move back to pune/mumbai myself. Its only after i left the city that i realised how much its grown on me.
    Oh, and your post gives me ideas. More movie related, though.

    • I have been hearing so much about the movie – some say they hated it yet discuss is at length. I am unsure. Maybe I should give it a shot.
      Yes, I never thought some city can be too alluring to me considering I am a total Delhi freak, but Pune has a subtle charm that sticks. 🙂
      Aha I wonder what those ideas are.

  5. Looks like you are going to miss Pune big time. Don’t worry our own Dilli has its share of quirks, eccentricities and blog fodder. Welcome to the Capital 🙂

  6. Oh wtf! That’s what this post makes me go, more so because i watched the movie just last night. Scary shit. We were seven guys watching it yesterday and we unanimously decided that none of our (current, future and potential) girlfriends get to see this movie. Not unless we have a deathwish.
    Killer, killer post 😀 too bad you’re leaving pune. I was quite getting to enjoy your insights on the city.

    • Seven guys watching 7 Khoon Maaf? Ooh that must have been some experience indeed. I have yet to see the movie – it’s too bad I can’t find company (‘you’re insane’ is the unanimous reaction when I plead). I hope you guys manage to hide it from your partners. 😉

      Yep, I am feeling under the weather too. I will definitely be back in Pune in a year or so. The city’s delightful.
      Thanks Reetam! 😀

  7. Is this your reaction to the movie or the seductress you recently met? We have a name for them you know, it starts with b. 😛
    I couldn’t have agreed with you more, there is only one way to tackle them. As soon as you find one in your vicinity, “patli galli se khisak lo”. Sometime, retreat is the best escape, in this case most of the time.
    Keep Writing… 🙂

    • Oh I have yet to see the movie but this is a reaction to the Darrling song – I can’t get it out of my head.
      Yes yes exactly that name I mean – fits like Cindrella’s shoe. 😀

      Bingo. Retreat is indeed the best option. I used to think the seducers won’t have much negativity to spread on the same sex but how wrong I was… they have other ways I have found.

  8. 🙂 very entertaining post. I’m not much of a blog reader (or writer!) but I’m sure gonna go through more of your blog. (maybe it will give me some inspiration to start doing something with my own blog too.)

    Anyway, thanks for the ‘like’ you left me on my blog.

    • Hello Jyoti.

      Haha, this morning began rather madly for me and I have reasons to explain my mood. I am glad you enjoyed the piece.
      And thanks a lot for dropping by! 😀

  9. this is delhi gals hmmm wait till you see the gals from other parts of the nation I can name a few where they will put shame to gals in delhi 🙂

    and by the way this whole article went OHT i had no clue what you said DUHHHHHHHHHHHH me I have to go and read it again

    But one think ooh yes the seducers and the User come in all shape even the ones who have a UGLY heart manage to get away …


    • Bikram, I am sure you have an interesting and spicy list up your sleeve. But I pity the ones the seducers cling to. When the seduction’s over, all that’s left is fluff. You might want to check out the song – it’s amazing IMO.

      Well, well – in any case you can always refer to the last line of the post. 😛

  10. 🙄 This is what you are doing in delhi… Observing gals and posting about them…

    Well you’ll have to agree that delhi gals if good for nothing else are a good blog fodder 😛

    • Oh come T, I have a fortnight or so to go before I move. Maybe that’s why these females here in Pune are showing their true colours? Couldn’t agree more about the fodder thing – women have always been a favourite subject. LOL

  11. I am talking about seducers with respect to success rate. Merely hitting doesn’t count. I am not looking poorly upon women who are not in shape, that would be a PR suicide.

    I still protest that round is a shape. And I am in shape.

    Btw are you active on Twitter?

    • Haha yes, taken like that perhaps the Seducers in shape have it better. But the times are changing: on the lines of the fair to dusky skin-tone desire.

      Round is sure a shape. And one we see everywhere. The Earth is round. 😉

      Nope. I am on Facebook.

  12. “Let me tell you about The Seducers. They come in all shapes and sizes” -I am not sure about the shapes and sizes part.

    But I really dig when the pseudo conversation takes place. I was the lone guy in the cubicle surrounded by 1 pretty girl and three aunties. One of them had cough weight issues and even if some one tried to give her “Are you going to eat THAT” look, she would devour them.

    But these ladies never missed a chance to pick on the pretty girl, oh look at what she is wearing, snob this snob that.

    Forget wwe I always thought cat fights were more fun.

    And congratulations deboshree you now are on my blogroll :). Keep blogging

    • Dhanesh, it might seem strange to be told there exist Seducers in unshapely shapes but oh they do. I have quite a few in my acquaintance. 😛

      Haha I am sure that must have been fun. The pretty girl is always picked on by the not-so-pretty ones. (and often for silly reasons like “she has a brown clip in her hair!”)

      Thank you Dhanesh…much appreciated. 😀

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